Hi Guys! Is your woman driving you crazy? You love her, but you don’t understand her?... Yeah, I know... What women want may differ from what they say. I know it doesn't make any sense, but it’s true in many cases.
Women and men do not speak the same language.... No, they definitely NOT!... That’s not only a fact, but also a natural trait that we cannot change... We just have to deal with it... And of course, learn how to handle it.
Women are simply wired differently. We don’t usually communicate in the simple, straightforward manner as you guys. Although some women do, the female nature has a different language most of the time.
The main reason why men don’t seem to understand women is simple:
Men are different from women and they are trying to understand us from a man’s point of view, not from a woman’s.
You guys think different, communicate different, feel different, want different things, act different, react in different ways and have different needs.
Now, the problem is not to be different, but to expect the other person to think, communicate, feel, act and react the same way we do.
You see, basically women live in a crazy emotional stew! No wonder why guys don’t understand us!
We are sweet, sexy, loving, caring, supportive, giver creatures with a very complicated mind and very crazy hormones that can make us be mean, twisted, nagging, cruel and even hurtful... :)
Oh! And by the way, we can change our emotions and moods in a heartbeat! :)... (I hope my women visitors don’t get offended, but it’s the truth ;) )
Here, I will give some basics about what women want and women’s speak; so, you can understand better your woman; but first, let’s take a look at some of the issues...
Trust me, I understand you guys in this one...
1. Women don’t speak the men’s language.
2. Women’s language is mostly emotional.
3. Women don’t use a simple, clear and straightforward way to speak.
4. We speak way too much... Too many details.
5. We may not always use the best moment to talk to our man.
6. We don't always mean what we say.
7. Women tend to use hidden clues to make our point or get something that we want.
8. We mistakenly assume that men understand what we mean.
9. We get frustrated when you don’t get what we mean.
10. We need to express our feelings, and we need to be listened to.
11. We may mix things up and get some way dramatic... Or very dramatic.
12. We tend to overreact, and we love to complain.
.... And many more... Yes, I know these don’t make any sense to you, but remember when we are learning a different language, it never really makes sense to us, we just need to take it as it is.
Also, keep in mind that neither women's language, nor men's language is wrong... They are just different.
Now, let see why women speak the way we do, so maybe you can understand us a little more:
1. First of all, you need to know that women value and need communication, as much as, men value and need sex.
What women want?...
We need to be able to express our feelings in our relationship.
Yeah... I know you don’t like this because we don’t express our feelings always in the best moment or in the best way, and mostly because you may not understand what we really want to express...
But, think about it, communication is vital for the success of any relationship; both partners just need to learn a way to communicate effectively.
2. Women and men don’t have the same thinking process. Men think in a focused, directional manner and women think globally; they connect one thing to the other, and think in many directions at one time.
3. Most of the thinking process for a man takes place on the left side of his brain (The logical side), while in women, the majority of their thinking process takes place on the right side of the brain (the emotional side) and also on the left side.
This is the reason why women are called emotional creatures.
4. Men focus on one subject at a time. Women are multitaskers even when we are speaking; we can bring up more than one topic at a time and jump from one to the other.
5. Women speak in “hint language” instead of a clear and direct manner.
This is definitely not the best way to communicate. If we are not being clear and direct enough, how can we expect you guys to understand us?
Honestly, this is an unfair one, but unfortunately, this is part of the women's language, and it takes so much work, attention and willingness for a woman to be able to control the tendency of speaking in that way.
The best thing you can do is ask for clarification any time you don’t clearly understand her.
I’ll give you some examples of speaking in hint language, so you know what I mean:
* She: Doesn’t that restaurant look nice?....
* He: Yes.
Real meaning: We are not looking for a yes or no; we are suggesting you to take us there.
* She: Is cold in here! Doesn’t it?
* He: oh, yeah
Real meaning: We are not looking for a yes or no, we want you to turn off the air conditioner.
* She: Do I look fat in this dress?
* He: Uhhh.... Yes or no (depending on how honest or smart he is ;) )
Real meaning: ok, this is a tricky one, very unfair and dangerous :) when a woman asks you something like that usually she wants you to make her feel better about herself. Here is when we get lies many times, but sometimes it’s just what we want to hear.
6. When a woman is expressing her problems or feelings to a man, most of the time she only needs to be listened to and comforted. We are NOT asking for solutions.
One of the best gifts a man can give to his woman is to listen to what she feels, or what happened to her without telling her what to do. If you can, empathize with her, if you can’t, just listen to her.
A woman needs to feel that her partner is supporting her. For us, supporting doesn’t mean solving our problems, just listen.
So... What women want?... We want just to be listened to!
The reason why a woman needs to be listened to is because we find comfort when we are able to speak and let out what is bothering us...
It’s something kind of weird, I know, but in the process of expressing how we feel, we start feeling better. We are NOT looking for advice or solutions, unless we ask for them.
Now, the worst thing you can do when a woman is sharing her feelings with you is to criticize her, and telling her what she did wrong, what she should have done, and what she should do now. Remember, here’s the moment when a woman appreciates your silence and attention the most.
I understand how different this for you guys. Men don’t feel the need to talk about their problems in order to feel better, or even to solve them. You solve your problems on your own, and this is a big one, women don’t understand because we want you to do the same we do: We want you to talk about your problems, and how you feel about them, but that’s kind of against your nature.
However, keep in mind, the most you share with her, the more you make her happy :)
In the same way, men feel comfort by getting some space and distance “the man cave”, women get comfort by talking.
Now, I also understand how hard is for you not to give solutions, when we are talking about problems...
The way men process problems is: There’s a problem, let’s find a solution. And to be honest, I personally agree with the logic of this; but remember, women are more emotional than logical, they prefer the comfort than the solution; we eventually solve it anyway...
As soon as we have let it out, we will feel better, and we’ll be able to think clearly and find a solution.
In couples, the main complaint is:
* From women is that men don’t listen to them.
* From men is that women are not clear enough.
Try to reach a middle point, and that’s a job for both in the relationship.
* Women need to respect men spaces and speak in a clearer manner. Try to avoid "hint language" as much as possible, and look for the right moments to express their feelings, hopefully controlling the level of drama.
* Men need to learn how to listen women without criticizing and offering solutions. Don’t tell her what she did wrong, or what she should have done, and what she needs to do now. Just support her by listening to her.
Also, try to learn as much as you can what our language means, and ask for clarification any time you need.
Both men and women cannot change our nature, but if we expect to live happily together, we need to learn how to compromise some of our natural tendencies, and find a middle point of communication. It will make wonders to any relationship.
And remember... The best thing you can do is to accept and love your woman for who she is: A woman!... With all the emotional, crazy, complicated, and twisted minds that the majority of us have :)
Now, in the same way you have to deal with and control the lusting, hungry, and "sexual beast" you guys have inside of your bodies, we need to control and live with the complicated, crazy mind we have inside of us.
Trust me, it’s not really easy to be a woman, feel like a woman, and live as a woman...
To be honest with you, the more I researched and wrote about men, women, sex, and relationships for this website, the more I envy men's world, and the less I understand sometimes women...
But hey! I’m still one of them!... And, as much as, I think in many ways like a man, I still like men, and I still have to deal with the part of woman that I have. ;)
Wow... This is getting way too personal... jejeje, but that's just me... Don’t expect every woman to be able to understand men that much to the point of thinking like guys do.
In many ways, part of my job and mission here is to relax women about sex, open their minds, knock down as many inhibitions as I can, and hopefully help them understand your world.
The other part, is helping you guys to understand us and telling you exactly what women want, so you can really be able to please your woman, make her happy, and drive her completely sexually into you!
My mission here is to help couples achieve a better love and sex life
and build healthy relationships!
Connecting you with the best love and sex advice for a healthy relationship!
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