Hi Ladies! Relationship advice comes always handy and can really make a difference in our lives. I want to share this great article with you:
“3 Things to NEVER say to a man
(unless you want to be alone)"
It reveals three specific things you should never say to any man that can really hurt your relationship.
It's by Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship expert, who explains that most women make these exact mistakes with men every day!
Are you one of them?
Read this right away to find out - I have included the entire article below.
There are three things that women commonly say to men -- especially during conflict -- that cut a man to the core.
Saying these things can literally trigger a man to shut down emotionally, and to withdraw from you.
Here they are:
1) Anything that implies an inability to provide for his family:
"If you made more money, we would not have to live paycheck to paycheck."
2) Any suggestion that he has a lack of interest in family time:
"You work such long hours-the kids and I never see you. You spend more time at your job than you do with your family!"
3) Any accusation of a lack of contribution to the household:
"Why not help around the house more? You give all your energy to your career, but nothing left over for the unglamorous tasks like laundry."
These kinds of criticisms strike at the very core of men, because they are touching on our deep, subconscious need to succeed in these areas.
So if your man's job is causing challenges in your home, try to not criticize him about that, but work with him, if you want to win his heart.
If you are critical about his abilities to be a breadwinner, he is going to feel discouraged.
But please notice, this is NOT to make excuses for your man's poor behavior or responses. And it's not to say that you need to "give in" to his worst tendencies. Quite the opposite...
You have the ability to make a real change here: you can either help him to become more successful by complimenting and supporting his hard efforts, or you can be critical and ripping into him all the time -- which will make him want to go off into a corner and lick his wounds.
So what do you say instead?
What can you say that will help build him up, and get you more of the results you really want from him?
3 Things You Can Say That Help Him Be Successful...
To help him become more successful, you can say words to this effect:
1) Acknowledging his ability to provide for the family:
"I appreciate your efforts to provide for the family financially. I would like to explore some ways we can boost our household income. At the same, time we can look at ways to cut costs."
2) Acknowledging his value as a member of the family:
"I know that work is asking a lot of you right now. The kids and I need time with you too because we miss you. How can we work together on this in order to find a way to create a win-win situation?"
3) Acknowledging his contribution to the household:
"I want to be sensitive to how hard you work at the office, but I am working outside the home too. So I am going to need you to step up and do more of the household chores."
Try out these suggestions with your man, starting today and I think you'll be thrilled at how quickly your man warms up to you and brings you closer to his heart than you ever thought possible.
I wish you the best,
Randall E. Bennett, MA, LMFT, LCPC
I hope you've liked this relationship advice ;)
Did you realize how the trick is in changing the way you say things to him? If you read closely, you'll see that the message is basically the same, what is changing is how is being expressed.
We can definitely get our messages being heard if we learn the right way to talk to him.
Words can have a positive effect or a negative one. Talk to him in a way that encourages him instead of discourages him.
Remember to avoid negative criticisms. Instead, acknowledge his efforts and make him feel appreciated. You'll see how much receptive he will be to make the improvements you want. :)
I brought you this article from Randall Bennett because I liked a lot his e-book: Melt Your Man's Heart and I wanted to share with you a piece of the great advice he offers in his e-book.
I hope you have found it as useful as I did... After all, we always can use some expert advice from a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 25 years of experience in restoring marriages and counsuling couples... Right?... Sure! ;)
He actually has become of the country’s leading authorities in helping women learn how to positively influence their men to transform their relationships and become more emotionally involved, so I'm pretty sure we can all benefit from his relationship advice.
If you'd like to get more great advice from him, take a look at his video here.
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