Anal Sex Advice:
Anal Sex Rules You Must Follow To Make It Safe And Pleasurable

Hi Ladies! Looking for anal sex advice?... Great! When it comes to anal sex, it’s not even about tips, it’s about rules that you and your man must follow for you to not get hurt.

(Guys click here)

Hi Ladies! Looking for anal sex advice?... Great! When it comes to anal sex, it’s not even about tips, it’s about rules that you and your man must follow for you to not get hurt.

(Guys click here)

Anal sex can be either quite pleasurable or quite painful for you, and this will depend mostly on how your partner performs it.

You will see that most of the rules are for him to follow, but you also need to be informed to know if what he’s doing is right, and to be able to stop him when he’s doing something wrong.

Remember, it is your body, never let him do something that is hurting you.

Therefore, if you want to enjoy of pleasurable anal sex without pain, make sure he always follows these 12 anal sex advices... or even better RULES:

Anal sex advice #1: Lots and lots of lube... Always!

This is the first and the most important rule that he has to follow ALWAYS.

Never... ever! Attempt to have anal sex without lube! Because he could easily tear something on the outside or the inside of your anus, causing you extreme pain and even a trip to the hospital.

So, no matter how much he begs in the heat of the moment, if there’s no lube, there’s no anal sex for him!

Keep in mind that the anus does not produce natural lubrication; therefore, he must provide it, or you will be in lots of pain, and you won’t probably want to try it again.

Make sure he always pours lots of a good lube on your anus and his fingers, penis and /or toys.

Even though with anal sex he’s pretty much in charge, remember, it is your body! So, it is your responsibility to not let him do things that can hurt you. 

Therefore, never let him play or penetrate you back there without lots and lots of a good anal sex lubricant.

With that said... let’s see what kind of lubricant you should buy:

* You can use water-based lubricant. This one will work fine for you, and it will not break the condom, if your guys are using one.

* Oil based-lubricant will not be a good option if you are using a condom because the oil will break the latex.

* His own spit will not be enough here! No matter how much he thinks it works, it does NOT work for anal sex.

* Creams or lotions are way too thick and won’t do here.

* Your best option for a lube is the silicone-based lubricant. This is great for anal sex because it last longer, facilitates the penetration, does not break the condom, and is easily cleaned up (it will all be flushed out at the bathroom).

Find a good brand of lubricant; it will be even better if you buy one special for anal sex. The quality and the amount of lube will really make the difference here.

If he uses lots of a good lubricant, you may end up loving anal sex; but, if he doesn’t use lube, or the one he uses is not good enough, you will definitely end up hating anal sex.

Anal sex advice #2: Make sure he goes very very very slow.... and gentle!

This is the second most important rule he must follow for you to be able to enjoy anal sex without pain. He must go very, very slow and gentle! Never let him penetrate you fast or thrust you too rough.

Besides not producing its own lubrication, the anus was not specifically designed for sex; actually, the anus is made for things to go out not in; therefore, along with lots of lube he must penetrate you very very slowly while being extremely careful and gentle.

This goes for any kind of anal play, fingers, toys, or his penis. Specially when he’s using his penis, he must penetrate you extremely slowly; gradually building up his way in and going only as deep as you can handle.

Make sure he understands that he needs to avoid rough thrusting here because this may hurt you.

This is crucial because depending on how gentle he is, you will be able to feel pleasure instead of pain.

Rough Sex here is a No-No-No... Never!

This area is very delicate and will tear easily; no matter how aroused he is, he has to take it easy here.

You must always tell him how you’re feeling. Let him know if something hurts, and give him directions on what to do and how to do it.

This is one of the times that he really needs to agree to do what you say. You’re the one who’s feeling; therefore, you’re the only one who knows how much you can handle. If you say “go slowly”, he must do it... If you say “it hurts”... He must stop!

You have to really trust your man to have anal sex with him.

If you know that he will be gentle enough, and will do what you ask him to do, then go ahead and give anal sex a chance; but, if you think that he may end up getting carried away in the heat of the moment, and won’t listen to you, then avoid anal sex with him because he may end up hurting you.

Anal sex advice #3: Relax!!!... Communication and lots of foreplay!

Relaxation is the third factor that plays a crucial role in anal sex for you to feel pleasure instead of pain.

You need to be relaxed mentally and physically for your anus to be relaxed enough to be able to accommodate his penis. If you’re tensed up, your anus will be tensed up as well, and the penetration will be very difficult and extremely painful.

The first step for you to be relaxed is communication!

Yes! You guys need to talk about it in advance, and you both must have previously agreed on try anal sex. You need to be open to try. You won’t be relaxed if you’re not completely agree on having anal sex.

For this kind of sexual activity, no matter how much he wants it or how much you want to please him, if you’re not convinced or if you’re scared, this will definitely be painful.

This is the kind of sex that requires for him to really take his time to make you feel comfortable enough to try.

Don’t let him pressure you!

Make sure he assures you to be extremely gentle and careful, and that he will do only what you want, and in the pace you want it.

Make him promise you that he will stop if you want to. Once you feel you can trust him, and you think you feel comfortable enough to try... go ahead a give it a chance.

After you’re open about it, now he needs to relax your body with lots of foreplay. Make sure he takes his time here, and do everything you like to arouse and relax you.

Massages and oral sex work wonders here. Enjoy everything he’s doing and just relax...

Once your body is relaxed, now he needs to relax your “butt area”. He can caress, kiss, and massage your butt, and slowly and gently start introducing his smaller finger. Then work it up to a bigger finger, and massage to get you ready for his penis. This kind of stimulation will gradually relax your anus to be able to handle something bigger.

When he’s already fingering or penetrating you; it’s the moment when you need to relax the most for your anus to expand and accept the penetration. Breathe deeply and relax all your muscles, specially the ones outside and inside your anus.

Anal Sex Advice #4: Choose a comfortable position

Choosing a very comfortable position is key for you to relax and don’t tense up your muscles. Remember, relaxation will allow the penetration and reduce the pain.

Also, choose a position that make the penetration easier. The easier the penetration is, the less painful will be for you.

* Doggy style is a very good option for anal sex; put lots of pillows under your belly, so you can relax and won’t need to focus on holding the position; you will be just lying on the pillows.

This position also provides an easier entrance for his penis, making everything easier for both of you.

* Elevated missionary is also a good position for anal sex. Put some pillows under your butt to elevate your body and make the access easier.

Also, make sure he puts some pillows under your feet and legs, so you can rest them there and not be holding them up in the air. Your legs can also be over his shoulders.

Choose whatever is more comfortable for you. Remember that the whole idea is to be comfortable enough to relax and be able to enjoy.

Anal sex advice #5: Fingers before penis!

After he gets you relaxed with lots of foreplay, caresses, massages, and even kisses in your butt area, you will be ready for finger stimulation on your anus.

This is very important, don’t let him skip this step! Never let him stick his penis in there right away.... Remember, this is not your vagina!... He needs to work it out gradually.

By starting with his fingers first, he will be opening and relaxing your anus, so it can start getting used to have something going in, as well as, getting ready to accommodate something bigger... his penis.

Make sure he put lots of lube on you and his finger, and start first using his pinky; he needs to go very slowly and gently giving you time to get used to the sensation, then he can switch to his ring finger.... and then, his middle finger.

Let him use his finger to massage your anus, and always let him know how are you’re feeling. Give him directions. If you need to, tell him to go slower; tell him to stop if it hurts and make him stop!

Don’t let him convince you other ways; pain is a sign that something is not going right. Listen to you body and speak up! He will need to understand.

Expect some discomfort, especially at the beginning, and try to cope with it the best you can, but do NOT accept pain!

If you see that you can handle his finger, you may be able to handle his penis, but if you can’t even handle his finger, you won’t be able to handle his penis, so it’s better for you make him stop a try some other time.

Anal sex advice #6: Give him directions and make him do what you say

As I said before, anal sex is the kind of sexual activity where you really need to speak up, and make him do what you say to avoid getting hurt.

It is very easy for a man to get carried away in the heat of the moment, so unless you really trust him, don’t let him do whatever he wants.

Remember, you’re the one who’s feeling what’s going on in there. I cannot stress this enough! If it hurts, tell him to stop. If you want him to go slower or not to go too deep, even if you want to stop for that time and continue some other time, tell him!  

Let him know everything you want!

Always remember, this part of your body was not designed for penetration, so he cannot handle it the same as your vagina. Despite of this, you can feel lots of intense and powerful pleasure when anal sex is done right; just communicate with him, and make sure he follows your directions, and you both will be ok.

With time and practice, he will know exactly how much you can handle, so you probably won’t be giving him directions.

Anal sex advice #7: You need to want to... No surprises here!

The worst thing your man can do is surprisingly put his finger or penis in there without your consent.

Let him know in advance that you will not tolerate something like that because this physically hurts. You know how your man is, if you think he may do something like this, then tell him you don’t want any surprises!

Anal sex is a special sexual act that needs to be fully discussed with your partner in advance. You guys really need to talk about it, and decide if you’re willing to give it a try, and agree on how you will do it.

He may want it so bad, but for you to be ready could take a little longer. It is a whole mental and physical process for you.

Also, anal sex or any kind of anal play (fingers or toys) requires a special prep before any kind of penetration. He cannot just stick something in there by surprise!

He must understand that anal sex is painful if not done right. You may need to first overcome the uncomfortable initial stage to reach the pleasurable stage, if you can even make it; this is specially true for the first few times while your anus starts becoming used to the penetration.

Remember that the level of discomfort or pain will directly depend on how well you are relaxed, how much lubricant he applies, and how slow and gentle he penetrates you.

Therefore, once you’re open to try, he has to relax you with lots of foreplay, uses lots of a good lube, and goes gently and slowly, it shouldn't hurt; instead, it can be extremely pleasurable for you.

Anal sex advice #8: Not switching from “back door” to “front door”

Switching from your anus to your vagina will spread bacteria that can cause you a vaginal infection.

This is a golden rule, once you guys have chosen to go for anal sex, you cannot go back to vaginal sex on the same time; unless, you change the condom or clean up thoroughly his penis with water and soap.

This one goes also for anything involved in anal sex, his fingers, mouth or toys.

Anal sex advice #9: Don’t use numbing cream or lube

Numbing creams and numbing lubes may sound like a good idea for you to deal with the pain... But, it’s really a very bad idea because you need to be completely aware of what’s going on back there all the time.

As much as we don’t like pain, it is an important indicator that’s something wrong is going on. Pain tell us when to stop. If you use numbing creams or lubes, he may being tearing something and you won’t know it until it's too late.

Be careful of not using lubricants that contain numbing ingredients. Check out the label!

Anal sex advice #10: Use protection

No matter how solid of a couple you are, you guys will always be better using a condom for anal sex.

Getting an infection here is not worth the risk. Besides this, a condom will help him to avoid accidentally spreading some bacteria that is naturally on the anus to your vagina.

Using a condom will be always a safer and cleaner option.

Anal sex advice #11: Use safe anal sex toys

Homemade sex toys for anal sex are NOT a good idea. Stay away from food and any kind of objects. This is really not a good area to “get creative”.

Use only sex toys that are designed specifically for anal play.

Make sure that these have a wide, flared base, a cable or ring on the bottom that keeps the toy from sliding too far into your anus.

The anus has no “end” like the vagina; so, avoid getting toys lost in there, or you guys may end up at the hospital.

Getting a sex toy lost in the anus is extremely painful, dangerous, and embarrassing. Keep it safe always!

Anal sex advice #12: Avoid anal sex while you’re pregnant

Anal sex can be very dangerous during pregnancy, especially because of the risk of spreading bacteria from the anus to the vagina. Treating vaginal infections during pregnancy can be harder to treat and more serious.

Also, getting in a comfortable anal sex position for you is not easy during pregnancy, and beside these, hemorrhoids are a very common side effect of pregnancy, making anal sex extremely painful and dangerous for you.


OK, there you have it! Those are the 12 most important anal sex advices, or even better - RULES - to make anal sex pleasurable instead of painful... or even dangerous!.

Make sure you and your man follow all these rules, and use anal sex with precaution.

Make it a treat for special occasions, and make sure you’re feeling pleasure and not pain, and you both will be able to enjoy the extremely pleasurable world of anal sex!

To help you and your partner learn all the necessary information to perform anal sex in a safe, responsible and pleasurable way, I recommend you BOTH to read Anal Pleasure For Her.

This is the most complete source of quality information about anal sex that I've found so far. Here, your man and you will learn from precautions and recommendations to the best techniques to achieve pleasurable anal orgasms.

Spice Sex Up! :)

Connecting you with the best love and sex advice for a healthy relationship!

Next:  How To Enjoy Anal Sex: Make It Pleasurable Instead Of Painful

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